Hagerstown Turkey Drop Doesn’t Go as Planned (Satire)

HAGERSTOWN, MD News (11/19/2022) – In what was supposed to be a day of celebration of the city’s new logo, where families received free turkeys thrown out of a helicopter over Hagerstown City Park, turned out to be a terrifying event for both the turkeys and the participants. In a hail of gobbles and feathers, some locals had to quickly flee the area when wild turkeys began chasing them through the park.

This Saturday locals from all around gathered in Hagerstown City Park for the first annual Turkey Drop giveaway! Unfortunately, locals did not realize they would be receiving live turkeys instead of froze ones.

Contrary to the popular WKRP episode, turkeys can and do in fact fly. This resulted in many angry turkeys flying down to Hagerstown City Park from a helicopter above, then chasing unsuspecting visitors after landing, blaming them for their unexpected flight.

While local residents did manage to capture a few of the turkeys, Hagerstown City Park and the nearby woods are now finding themselves home to an angry flock of turkeys, hell-bent on causing chaos and attacking any humans who come nearby.

Visitors are encouraged to keep their distance from the wild turkeys while the City Council plans next steps for their removal.

Please do not call anyone in authority about this article, you will only confuse them, and our government is confused enough. This is a satire article, and may not reflect the views of Radio Free Hub City or its sponsors.