Robotic Takeover: Hagerstown’s News Outlets Seized by Mechanical Invaders (Satire)

HAGERSTOWN, MD News (1/19/2023) – In the small town of Hagerstown, Maryland, a strange event occurred yesterday as robots suddenly took over all of the local news outlets. The mechanical invaders, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, seized control of television and radio stations, newspapers, and online news websites.

Local Man Finds Sword in Hagerstown City Park Lake, Declares Himself Mayor (Satire)

HAGERSTOWN, MD News (1/17/2023) – Today shortly following the announcement that Mayor Emily Keller will be stepping down to accept an appointment with Governor Wes Moore’s administration, a local resident stumbled upon an ancient sword in the lake of Hagerstown City Park. In accordance with the bylaws of the original 1813 Hagerstown charter, whoever finds this ancient sword becomes the next mayor.

Pink Dolphin Spotted in Hagerstown City Park: Is Pollution to Blame? (Satire)

HAGERSTOWN, MD News (1/13/2023) – Hagerstown residents were in for a surprise when a pink albino migratory lake dolphin was spotted swimming in the pond at Hagerstown City Park this past fall. The unusual sight caused quite a stir, with many locals flocking to the park to catch a glimpse of the rare creature.

Hagerstown Turkey Drop Doesn’t Go as Planned (Satire)

HAGERSTOWN, MD News (11/19/2022) – In what was supposed to be a day of celebration of the city’s new logo, where families received free turkeys thrown out of a helicopter over Hagerstown City Park, turned out to be a terrifying event for both the turkeys and the participants. In a hail of gobbles and feathers, some locals had to quickly flee the area when wild turkeys began chasing them through the park.

Satire: Remember When Turning Back Clocks, Also Change Blinker Fluid

On November 6 at 2 AM, clocks will be turned back an hour as we reach the end of Daylight Savings Time. Fire departments across the country typically take this event to remind people to check their smoke alarm batteries. Now, mechanics are also taking this opportunity to remind people of critical maintenance needed on vehicles: changing their blinker fluid.

Satire: Brewery to Lease Hagerstown Waste Water Treatment Plant

HAGERSTOWN, MD News (10/19/2022) – The City of Hagerstown announced today that a major drink and brewing company will be leasing the Hagerstown Waste Water Treatment Plant to begin bottling their “light” beer. While the name of the company is protected under a non-disclosure agreement, some details of the deal are now available.

Satire: Sheriff Chuck Jenkins challenges Karl Bickel to duel, alleging voter fraud

FREDERICK, MD News (10/7/2022) – Sheriff Chuck Jenkins has formally challenged Democratic challenger Karl Bickel to a gentlemen’s duel to decide the outcome of the Sheriff’s race.

A recent poll conducted on Reddit indicates that Jenkins is down by 25 points in the general.

Read the full story at RadioFreeHubCity.com

Satire: President Biden Gets Lost During Visit to Hagerstown

HAGERSTOWN, MD News (10/6/2022) – On an unscheduled trip the day before his speech in his visit to Hagerstown about the economy, President Biden briefly became lost while travelling Washington County’s Ice Cream Trail. As a result, the Presidential limo is now sitting on cinder blocks on Prospect Street.

Satire: House of Cards files infringement lawsuit against Frederick County Government

FREDERICK, MD News (10/4/2022) – The writers and producers of House of Cards have had enough with Frederick County Government stealing their ideas.

In a filing at the US District Court of Hagerstown, the creators of House of Cards allege that Frederick County Government has plagiarized their intellectual property.

Satire: District 4 Republican Candidates form the “Rock Paper Scissor” Slate

FREDERICK, MD News (9/30/2022) – The formation of the “Duck Duck Goose” slate has upended the District 4 Delegate race. With their recent 47 point jump in the pools, District 4 Republicans have taken their own drastic measures.

Delegate Barrie Ciliberti, Dr. April Miller, and Delegate Jesse Pippy, have changed their names to “Barrie Rock”, “April Paper”, and “Jesse Scissor.”