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We can hardly believe it ourselves, but these stories are completely true!
Juvenile Delinquency Escalates to Fiery Chaos: Hagerstown Restaurant Experiences Near Miss
Hagerstown restaurant patrons fled in terror as a juvenile ignited a marine flare during dinner service, raising safety concerns.
NEWS THAT SHOULD BE SATIRE: Massachusetts Man Admits to Illegally Importing Russian Plutonium, Selling Hazardous Materials
Massachusetts man caught selling Russian plutonium: discover the shocking extent of his dangerous dealings.
Guillotine Discovered in Washington DC Sparks Slicing Questions
Capitol Police seize guillotine from California man on East Capitol Street; suspect arrested for weapon possession.

News That Should Be Satire: Alleged Maryland Police Impersonator Arrested After Attempted Traffic Stop on Actual Officer
Man arrested for impersonating police officer in Silver Spring after stopping real cop.
Bigfoot Spotted in WV Eastern Panhandle Outside Shampoo Manufacturing Plant
West Virginia workers report sighting of 8-foot-tall creature near industrial plant, possibly Bigfoot?
Tech Advancements Nobody Asked for: Little Caesars Invites You to Order Pizza Via Chatbot, Because Why Not?
Little Caesars now lets you order pizza via ChatGPT, nationwide. Chat your way to a Hot-N-Ready meal.
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
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