In celebration of the holidays, the City of Hagerstown has announced that between now and January 1, 2026, the city will attach holiday ribbons to speed cam tickets, as a festive “thank you” for out of town visitors for helping fund the local police department.
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“We believe the ribbons will put out of state visitors in the holiday spirit, so that they’ll be more willing to pay the speed cam ticket, and encourage them to come back to visit again.”
Out of state visitors not paying speed cam tickets is a serious problem for the City of Hagerstown. In 2017, it was reported that there were $1.5 Million in unpaid tickets outstanding.
In addition to the holiday ribbon, each city council member will take turns creating hand-written thank you notes to those receiving speed cam tickets over the holidays. These notes will really tug at the heart strings, similar to the SPCA commercials which tell you about how your donation will help save abused animals.
Washington County Government is planning to implement a similar campaign with their own speed cam tickets, but with a different twist. The handwritten thank you notes will inform the receiver of the county’s current financial costs for ongoing legal battles, and that all donations ticket fines will be used to create a defense fund for ongoing legal fight against Shaun Porter.
Please do not call the government about this article, they’re confused enough already. This is a satire article by Ken Buckler.
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