Satire: House of Cards files infringement lawsuit against Frederick County Government

FREDERICK, MD News (10/4/2022) – The writers and producers of House of Cards have had enough with Frederick County Government stealing their ideas.

In a filing at the US District Court of Hagerstown, the creators of House of Cards allege that Frederick County Government has plagiarized their intellectual property.

The 223-page filing highlights 73 counts of plagiarism. Frederick County has already filed their response.

The filing describes each of the 73 episodes, and how Frederick County Government has plagiarized their storylines. Some notable examples:

President Claire Underwood brings in an all-female cabinet in Season 7. County Executive Jan Gardner hired an all-female Finance Department.

Frederick County responded with “This is clearly not copyright infringement because County Executive Gardner only hired white women.”

In House of Cards, Mark Usher flips from Republican to Democratic, same as Bud Otis and Michael Blue.

Frederick County responded with “This is absolutely false. Usher chooses to undermine the Underwood administration, while Bud Otis and Michael Blue did nothing to stop the County Executive’s agenda. In fact, Otis and Blue actively supported Gardner’s agenda throughout their entire term.”

House of Cards has multiple storylines about the persecution and murder of journalists, namely Zoe Barnes, Thomas Yates, Tom Hammerschmidt, and Lucas Goodwin.

Frederick County responded with “We only murder and imprison journalists that get too close to the truth. House of Cards clearly murders and imprisons journalists that get too close to the truth.”

Since the suit has been filed, Frederick County has indicted 5 additional journalists under § 3-810.

Called the “Wrong-Think Act,” this statute carries a mandatory minimum sentence of Death by Bamboo. The Howard County State’s Attorney Rich Gibson prosecutes all Wrong-Think crimes.

In perhaps the best example of infringement, House of Cards had a Supreme Court Justice remain on the bench despite a diagnosis of Dementia.

Frederick County forgot to respond to this allegation.

Instead, the creators of House of Cards have been indicted for terrorism and are now being held in a Sheriff’s Office Black Site.

OH NO THEY’RE HERE. JENKINS JUST DROVE HIS BEARCAT THROUGH MY LIVING ROOM WHILE BLASTING BAD BOYS. HE HAS A COWBOY HAT AND FAMILY PACK OF FRIED CHICKEN. THE CLAYMORE ROOMBAS WERE INEFFECTIVE. I DON’T HAVE A LOT OF TIME, I HAVE EVIDENCE WHICH WILL LEAD TO THE ARREST OF HILLARY CLINTON.

FEED LOST NO SIGNAL

Please do not call anyone in authority about this article, you will only confuse them, and our government is confused enough. This is a satire article, and may not reflect the views of Radio Free Hub City or its sponsors.

Published by Definitely Not Thor

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