‘Catfish Boy’ Amphibious Juvenile Discovered in C&O Canal, Placed in Child Protective Services Custody (Satire)

WILLIAMSPORT, MD – The Washington County Sheriff’s Office has reported the unusual recovery of an unidentified amphibious juvenile male during a search operation near the C&O Canal. The discovery, made on the evening of Sunday, May 10, 2026, is believed to explain numerous reports of unexplained activity in the area over the years.

Following a call regarding a disoriented hiker near the Cushwa Basin, deputies conducted a search of the canal banks and surrounding woodlands. Instead of locating a missing person, they found a juvenile male, estimated to be around 10 years of age, partially submerged in the canal waters. This individual demonstrated a remarkable biological capability to breathe both underwater and on land.

The juvenile, who is non-verbal and communicates through clicks, croaks, and bubble blowing, was found wearing rudimentary, hand-sewn clothing made from materials like discarded canvas, river reeds, and fishing line. Investigators suggest that the condition of his attire and the presence of silt indicate he had been living independently for an extended period in a makeshift shelter under the Conococheague Aqueduct. Deputies were able to take the juvenile into custody without incident, reportedly using crackers to coax him onto the towpath.

The Sheriff’s Office noted that while deputies are accustomed to various incidents along the river, the recovery of a feral, gill-bearing child is a first for the department. Currently, there is no indication of a public threat. However, the Sheriff’s Office advises fishermen to dispose of their bait properly, as it appears to attract the juvenile.

The young individual has since been moved to a secure, confidential location and is now under the care of Washington County Child Protective Services (CPS). CPS has reported that the juvenile’s temporary living arrangements have been equipped with specialized features, including industrial humidifiers and a high-capacity water filtration system. His diet has been adjusted to include bottom-feeder pellets and fresh nightcrawlers to meet his needs. The Washington County Sheriff’s Office is collaborating with the Maryland Department of Natural Resources to ascertain the juvenile’s origins.

Please do not call anyone in authority about this article, you will only confuse them, and our government is confused enough. This is a satire article, and may not reflect the views of Radio Free Hub City or its sponsors.

Satire Article by Ken Buckler

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